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When Creativity Ain't There

No matter where you go, there you will be. I was feeling pretty restless after a couple months into living in LA, and a year later when we moved and decided to try out Mexico I thought this was my opportunity to walk in a creative energy again. I used to feel it more. Back when I lived in San Diego. Back before Covid walked into our lives.

Creativity, it's fleeting like a gust of wind. Ignore it or miss it, and it'll just pass you by- onto someone else whose sails are open and ready to embody its generous flow.

I've ignored the quotes and advice of those who have said these things I now know to be true- No matter where you go, you'll still be right there with you. Unfortunately it doesn't matter where I go, if I'm not in a creative flow, when I get to where I'm going I might still not be in a creative flow. I've traveled, moved, broken up, left, and caused shit storms all in the name of wanting to feel something.

Wanting to feel something: A poetic way of saying "I'm not feeling creative, and I need to feel it."

It's taken me 33 years to learn the hard way that I just can't always be creative.

God, I hate saying that word. "Can't." It's not a part of me, but it's the truth and there it is in black and white, Times New Roman font.

I wish I could walk in the curiosity of creativity 24/7, but I've come to the realization that that is just impossible. The main reason is that not everything is inspiring. It's not inspiring if your knees are hurting or if you owe money to your credit card company. It's not inspiring when it's 90 degrees outside with 100% humidity, and you want to go outside. It's not inspiring when you're home sick, but you don't have a home at the moment. Some days just won't have inspiration in their entirety, and that's my awful realization of the day.

That being said, I've learned to look for the little moments.

Today, Rolling Stone Magazine published the article written by the fictional character William Miller in the movie Almost Famous. I'm a huge fan of the film. It's my all-time favorite actually. So as I read this beautifully written article dripping with hints from the film, I felt inspired. I felt inspired to write today... and that's why I'm here, writing.

When I was in high school I wanted to be a journalist. Then I discovered my love for photography, so I decided I wanted to be a photojournalist. Then, in college, while majoring in photojournalism, I all but hated my journalism classes. The rules of journalism felt so stiff and non-creative. It was then I leaned into photography.

But I've always had a deep respect for journalism. That, coupled with my Southern roots to rock & roll and blues music, and Almost Famous is in perfect alignment with the things I most love. It was bound to be a favorite for me.

So today, feeling hot and uninspired to venture out of my Mexico Airbnb, I read this article and I was flooded with inspiration.

That's why I love art. In all its forms, art is what inspires me to create, to adventure, to live. I'm grateful that even on days that sometimes turn into weeks or months, there are still undeniable tiny moments that set up my heart to explode with creative energy.

Just a speck of that energy is what I'm living for. It's a relief to know that even on my grayest days, at least there's that.


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