I've been really struggling lately with forgiveness when it comes to certain people who have hurt me over the course of my life. People who I should be able to trust and have a deep connection with, I don't trust, and the connection feels weak. People who should have had a hand in building me up, have instead put hurdles along my path, making the journey more difficult than it could have been.
And that's whatever. It is what it is. But it got me thinking about my life.
I'm a very humble person--to a fault, and I get how someone saying that they're humble may make it seem like they're the opposite of humble. So, if you think that about me, you don't know me, and whatever.
...But anyway, lately I've been facing this "too humble" issue to figure out why I don't take credit for the woman I am today, the accomplishments I've made, the hurdles I've overcome, and the milestones I've made.
I've definitely had people come through my life who've inspired and motivated me. (Especially my high school teachers.) But I'm recently realizing I did a lot on my own.
Nobody paid for my college education, or helped me undo the brainwashing that was done to me as a kid, or taught me how to communicate in order to have a successful relationship.
And, I'm not saying I've needed that. I figured it out eventually... I've just been really in the trenches of reflecting on my life this far, and I've realized that I am WHO I am and WHERE I am because of no one else but me.
I'm really proud of the journey I've been on, the lives I've lived, and the decisions I've made. Not all of them, of course, but one thing I'll say about myself is I don't make the same mistake twice.
If I had to write the words on my tombstone, they'd say, "She never stopped growing."
I share a lot on here, and it's not to get likes, because this algorithm is straight garbage anyway. I share because in order for me to make something feel real, I have to say it out loud. I have to MAKE it real.
I hope that when I share my mind with you, anyone who reads my thoughts is able to at least relate to it, and at the most- connect with it and reflect it back onto your own life and circumstances.
Think about that today. Who made you? Was it your friends, your parents, your god, your education, your environment? I'm willing to bet even though you've been influenced by all of those things, the thing that truly made you, was all you.
Video by Alyssa Valiente.